回顾。

看回之前自己所写的 blog
每一个都充满着感伤
还记得曾经写过一则关于 cameron highland 的
超可爱开心的
可是
却在一次极度悲伤的情况下
全被删除了
以为那次以后
可以为它灌上全新的面貌
可是
没有 =）

曾经就算那么的伤心
却还是多么的努力挽留
I want be your lover than rival~
曾经写过的那么一句话
现在回看起来
还是那么的有feel~
或许冷静
真的会改变很多东西
但
却被选择如此
我...

终结所有的不愉快吧
记得，开心。 =)

心。寻找。

或许这样才是对彼此最好的决定
或许这样就不必再为彼此痛心

一个放弃，与，一个不挽留
回不去了
就算曾经那么的恳切希望回到从前
但
心，变得平静
没有了

谢谢你
让我拥有过最幸福的微笑
谢谢你
紧握着我的手走过无数地方
谢谢你
陪着我走过无数的低落哀愁
谢谢你
为了我做过的一切

但，对不起
给了你伤害

你找到了你的自由
现在
我也要去寻找原来的“我”了

我相信你的路途上
不会再孤单寂寞了
请务必过得比我好
比我开心，比我幸福
这样才像当初我认识的你
be yourself

希望当你再次想起我的时候
不会是仇恨
那些美好的回忆
偶尔想起还是会会心一笑
谢谢你
不要再流泪了
开心的，快乐的，微笑吧~ =)
Take care~

='(

can't stop thinking

can't stop my sadness

can't stop my pain

can't stop my tearing....='(

 help me~ ='(

where is my way?

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time... 

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart, 
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me.
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I've learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts, 
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of heart
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all! 

And who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

[[Jar of Hearts]]

never end。

again and again

its never end..

which one is real? which one is fake?

im being crazy..

tonight again

hug with loneliness 

sleep with sadness..

i want be myself~ =')

all the way, i only have myself

walk alone and walk with endless..

Accompany。

怎么了 心情一天比一天的更加低落
怎么了 总是在课堂忍不住哽咽哭泣
怎么了 总是说不上为什么的为什么

为什么越感越孤单
为什么越感越寂寞

就算和朋友聊天，逛街，看电影
一大群人，热热闹闹，开开心心
可是总有一团乌云围绕着我 
内心的阴暗潮湿低落无法被开心披盖
这已是第几个哭泣的夜晚

从上一次后
再一次无法控制的泪洪之后
我对自己说
没有下一次·
如果再有下一次
那必须被完结。

but now how? what should i do?
i should break my promise?
yup, cry again tearing again...
im try so hard...so hard...so hard
to avoid any argument happen
to avoid any unhappiness happen 
im trying so strive...:'(
but why again and again
i silent..i accept..i let's go
should i hiding myself again?

i don't want crying for no reason anymore
i care..and the people surrounding me care
i realize it no longer before.
why..people know without any of my words.. 
but you don't know..
im so....helpless and lonely
i don't wish to throw you away
i don't wish to let you be alone
coz i know you are in the place without anyone you close to
you need me..you need accompany
but why you leave me alone...i need accompany as well :'(

so now..how? what can i do?
stick to my promise? or break my own promise?
you may think im so selfish im think of myself
but think properly, did i? 
im the one who keep looking to the phone when you are at outside without any message leaving
im waiting without any anger but worry..
when you say you are so tired
i know.. but i feel the tired is only when chat with me.. :'(
and when we are chatting, 
am i "sleeping"?
am i "studying"?
am i "resting"?
i stop everything. without any blaming..
i also tiring...

"are you still belong to me?" :'( 

我。怎么了？

超级 emo 的一天，
不知道为什么。
早上去了最爱逛的setia city mall,
去见好久不见的好朋友，
一直聊聊聊，
有太多的话想说。
而且，好笑的是，竟然有人跟我搭讪。@.@
‘小姐，你是不是光华（中学）的？’
‘恩。’@.@
'我可以认识你吗？’
我们两个直接傻眼，
然后，我好像拒绝推销员酱，
挥手走了，超无情。

找了一个地方坐下聊了很多很久，
可是，她有事先走了。
我也离开，没有逗留逛街，
反而一个人驱车去了 subang parade，
一个不是很熟的地方。

很久没驾那么远的车程了，
一路上完全心不在焉，
用一只手托住下巴，好像藤原拓海酱，
走走走的就到了。
想要做的东西没做到，
就在那边走走看看，
看到选民登记，就顺便去 register了
然后，完全没有shopping mood。
结果，干脆站在栏杆那边发呆。
想想 parking fees 蛮贵的，
算了，回家吧。

结果，在这个陌生的地方，
拿着parking card 的我，却找不到 pay machine。
在 parking 场绕了很多圈，
决定下车去找找，
其实很怕，因为最近的犯罪案都在 parking 场发生。>.<
好不容易看到一个 uncle，马上跑去问问，
原来是在exit 那里给钱的。
很感谢他还好心告诉我exit 在哪里，
然后就跑回车上了。
这个 subang parade 很恐怖，
去哪里都是 ENGLISH 滴。怕怕～

因为绕了很多圈，完全失去了方向感，
不管他三七二十一，
出去再说。
本来很开心好像找到了路口，
却发现弯不过去，TT 
结果又绕回原来的路，
有点 lost 了,马上停在路边用GPS找。
然后，对着路牌走。
迷路的最大好处是，可以认识新的一条路。
虽然这次的迷路有点短暂，
但还是有点恐惧，
毕竟只有我一个人。

就这样，回到家了。
感觉真的好落寞, 哈哈。
嘴角完全没有提起过。=|
还以为，跟朋友出街会开心点，
结果没有。=(
我也不知道今天我一整天在干嘛，
完全没有 mood, 也很不专心。
是在习惯一个人的感觉吗？
真的走到哪里都可以站着发呆，
头脑总是放空，脸部也没表情。haiz~ 

我。到底怎么了？